Danielle Harel, PhD
San Francisco, California
www.artofbirth.com

Dr. Danielle Harel is a clinical sexologist and a professor at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, where she researched orgasmic and passionate childbirth. She has a master’s degree in clinical social work and a bachelor’s degree in psychology and educational counseling. As a childbirth educator, Danielle is passionate about empowering women to connect with the joy, sensuality, and freedom that await them during the life-changing phases of pregnancy and childbirth, when they truly embrace their bodies and sexuality. She has over 14 years of experience counseling couples, women, men, groups, and children.

How can birth bring pleasure when it is usually described as painful?

If you say “birth” to a group of women and ask them what they associate with that word, the first reply is usually “pain.” Dreading the pain that is strongly associated with birth, women learn to dread birth itself.

This fear can be strong enough to make women want to avoid experiencing contractions during labor. They expect to ask for pain medications or an epidural block long before they enter the labor room. Others are so terrified at the thought of experiencing the pain associated with labor that they choose a cesarean section, thinking this will spare them pain, although recovery from a c-section is often longer and more painful than from a vaginal birth.

Pain and pleasure ride on the same pathways to the brain. They give a signal to the neocortex, which interprets the experience as either pleasurable or painful. The way we perceive the signal and how we interpret it has a huge influence on our ability to cope with the experience. Most of the women in my research on sexual experiences of women during childbirth described contractions not as pain but as intense, wild, powerful sensations. Using sexual stimulation and connecting intimately and sexually with themselves and their partners during the birth enabled them to reframe their expectations from painful to pleasurable and helped them through labor.

How does sexual stimulation reduce pain in labor and birth?

The same hormones that are present during childbirth occur in all other episodes of women’s sexual lives, including lovemaking and orgasm. These hormones, when allowed to flow naturally and without disturbance, help reduce the pain of labor.

Think about how your body feels when you are absorbed in a sexual encounter. You are relaxed and open . . . your body is receptive to touch . . . and the more aroused you become, the more stimulation you can handle. Actually, you desire it! The greater the arousal, the more a woman enjoys vigorous penetration and intense sexual stimulation.

This adjustment and growth in desire are supported by our hormones. The desire for intense stimulation is nature’s way to make sure that a woman will be a willing and excited participant in making babies. Researchers have found that pleasurable stimulation of the clitoris and some areas of the vagina reduces the perception of pain.

Stimulating the release of the same hormones during birth reduces pain during contractions and helps the woman to relax and open up. In my research on sexual experiences of women during childbirth, women reported that sexual stimulation during contractions helped reduce their pain.

You can find the research and read their personal stories at:
www.artofbirth.com/dissertation.html

How can a woman plan for a “passionate birth”?

Most people wouldn’t use the words birth, pleasure, and sex in the same sentence. The open minded can learn how well those words fit together.

If you want to have a passionate birth, you must acquire a new way of thinking. You must also prepare and plan.

Begin by checking your belief system to identify your personal beliefs about birth.

• Do you trust your body? Do you believe it is meant to give birth and has the inner wisdom to do so?
• How do you imagine pain during labor and birth?
• Is enjoying sex important in your life?

Next, educate yourself about the physiology of birth (how it works physically) and the psychology of birth (how it works emotionally). Understand what happens in the birth process when a woman experiences fear and learn how different it can be when she focuses on pleasure rather than pain.

Talk with everyone you want to support your birth. Make sure their belief systems are aligned with yours. Those who attend your birth will need to agree with your feelings about what will happen there. Find people who are comfortable with the idea that you may make love and stimulate yourself sexually during birth.

A passionate birth is more likely to happen in some settings than in others. When doing research on women’s experiences during childbirth, I found that women who planned for a passionate childbirth chose to give birth at home. They knew they could feel safe there and express themselves in any way they wanted.

Finally, consider your pregnancy and preparation for birth as opportunities to explore your sexual and sensual self. Many women feel at their most beautiful when they are pregnant. With pleasure hormones rushing through their bodies, they find themselves aroused and desirous of sexual contact. These feelings can be frightening unless you understand how natural, wonderful, and appropriate they are.

Some women worry that the baby may be “watching” them during sexual activity and deny themselves sexual expression during pregnancy. Primitive fears cause some couples to worry that penetration or orgasm might hurt the unborn baby. In fact, the opposite is true: the sexually satisfied body releases natural hormones that flow to the baby in waves of serenity and joy.

By taking care of yourself, enjoying your femininity, and celebrating your sexuality, you’ll make a fine investment in your own well-being and your baby’s.

To prepare for a passionate childbirth, go to:
www.artofbirth.com

To connect, explore, and celebrate your femininity, sensuality, and sexuality, go to:
www.celesteanddanielle.com