Smiling while pushing

It was amazing!!  I am so happy.  All the positive thinking really, really paid off.   Sunday morning my midwife called to see how I was doing since she was at a birth pretty close by.  I let her know that the same contractions that I was having for weeks were still coming, but they felt a bit stronger and had a bit more pressure.  Sunday afternoon I was still having these contractions; they hadn’t faded away, but also were no stronger or closer and not regular in any way.  I really, really was hoping that this would become labor as I was already 9 days overdue and it was soooo frustrating - thanks to all those ladies who sent me encouragement!!   Sunday evening I stayed up late playing Rummikub with my 13 year old, she was on school vacation; and I was sick and tired of waiting for labor to start and couldn't sleep.  I finally went to bed at 3:30 am but didn’t sleep well because I was so disappointed that labor hadn’t started yet and in the morning would be 10 days overdue!!  How would I make it through another day???   I went to the bathroom at about 4:30 am and had so much pressure that I wasn’t sure how I would walk around the next day if I did not go into labor.  At this point I was so frustrated from all sorts of signs and labor never starting that I could not imagine that this could possibly mean anything.   At exactly 6 am I awoke feeling like a little urine was leaking but I could not stop it and a little more started leaking out.  As I got out of bed, my water started to flow all over the floor in a huge puddle.  I still thought that maybe I just lost control of my bladder, but when I checked it, sure enough, it was all clear and creamy and had an earthy clean smelling.   My poor husband, Shlomo had worked the overnight shift and had just gotten into bed 15 minutes earlier!  He was incredulous though, my water broke and we were actually going to have this baby today!!  (He had started calling me his “eternally pregnant wife” and had almost given up that there was really a baby coming out LOL)  He jumped up and started organizing things for the birth and reminded me that I had wanted to take a shower in early labor.   As I headed for the shower, I debated whether to wake up Judy, the midwife at 6 am, or to call her after my shower.  Contractions had not started, I did not even have the little ones from the day before.  I decided to call her just before my shower, she lives about 45 minutes away and my labors have all been really fast.   As soon as I hung up with her my contractions started to pick up, I was trying to use all the encouraging words, thoughts and phrases that I had been researching all this pregnancy.   Such as: trusting my body, welcoming the baby, and thinking of the contractions as pressure and power that comes to help bring my baby into the world, but leaves no lasting mark or sensation.  I was also telling my body not to go too fast, but to wait until Judy could get here and set everything up for the birth.  The shower was wonderful so I stayed in a little extra and just relaxed there for a while.   Shlomo woke up the kids, Gitty, age 14 and Chaim, age 9 and told them that I was having the baby today.  They made me a hot drink, and told me how excited they were and watched me breath through a contraction or two.  Shlomo then got them settled in the other room to watch a movie so I could have the privacy and quiet that I crave during labor.   When Judy got here I was so relieved as the contractions were starting to pick up a bit and I was beginning to get uncomfortable and worried.  She was great, we had discussed what I wanted beforehand, and she remembered everything.  She whispered encouragement quietly while rubbing my back and made sure that Shlomo knew what was going on, this was his first birth.   I told her that I was really worried because I felt so terrified of labor and it was still quite manageable, and I knew that it would get much harder.  I was really scared about how hard it might get and how traumatic it might be.  She told me that everyone is scared and I was just being honest about it, and that I was doing so well and she had full confidence in me.  She asked me if I would like to focus on anything or if I liked keeping my eyes closed during the contractions.  I decided to try to look at my wedding pictures and think about why I was bringing our baby into the world.  This was something different, in previous labors I had closed my eyes and focused on relaxing and opening.  This worked well and was really special; to see our happiness and remember how much we had wanted to get pregnant made me feel stronger and more positive.   Soon though, I had a really strong contraction that I just felt was almost too much for me, I told Judy that I really wanted to run away because now it was starting to get to the part that scared me.  The next contraction came and suddenly, at the peak, I started pushing!! I couldn’t believe it.  How could I be pushing already?  This was great!!  Judy quickly set up the birth supplies and called Shlomo back into the room.  He had gone out of the room to take care of some things.  I got into a comfortable semi-reclining position and breathed through the next two contractions.   I had watched a video on u-tube that Judy had sent me, it showed a women smiling with joy as her baby is crowning.  I announced that although I did not feel like smiling, I was going to try.  I also kept repeating, “It’s only my babies head, my baby is almost here.” Judy told me to give a little push and see how it felt, so I did that, and stopped when it started to burn a little.  Suddenly she said, “I see the head!”  I was so excited that it was almost over.  Judy told me said to push a little but to be ready to blow when the baby was crowning.  As soon as the head was out, I reached down to touch my baby and was so happy to know that he was really here.  I had to push a little to birth his shoulders and our little boy was born into the world!  .   We were both covered immediately with warm towels, which had been heating on the portable radiator just outside the room (as it was a warm day).  This was something that I was looking forward to, and am so happy that I prepared, it made me feel so caressed. The pushing was so much easier while smiling, as soon as I started to smile, the pain completely changed; it almost made me laugh, and reminded me that this was a happy occasion.   Shlomo cut the cord, the placenta came out, and within about 15 minutes everything was cleaned up and the baby and I were tucked into bed and he was nursing like a champ.  Gitty and Chaim were called in and we introduced them to their new baby brother.  They couldn’t believe that he was here already and were in such awe, they were almost crying.  It was so serene and beautiful.   I only had a very tiny tear and didn’t need any stitches.  I lost very little blood and now 2 days after birth, I am already walking around normally and feel better than I have ever felt postpartum.  He nurses so beautifully that my milk is already starting to come in!   Our new baby doesn’t have a name yet, he will G-d willing receive his name at his Brit Milah, circumcision, which will take place on his 8th day of life.   He was born at our home in Israel at 7:59 am weighing 7lbs, 12oz and 19 inches long.  We all love him so much and are so grateful!!