Dancing on the edge

My birth story starts with the medicated hospital birth of my first-born. I had given birth to her in a great deal of pain, on my back, and feeling cold and alone. As I gazed into the eyes of my precious little girl who had been separated from me for 20min, I kissed her sweet fuzzy head while clutching her to my breast and promised myself to search for a better way to guide my babies into the world.

I became a birth doula, and fed my soul on stories of functional and beautiful birth, and came to view it as a sacred, spiritual experience. When I became pregnant with our second child, my husband and I decided to birth in the water in our home, attended by our midwife and doula friend. As I felt my first wave of labor wash over me, my husband and I rejoiced and embraced the experience with open arms. I was fed, candles were lit, music filled the room and the sounds of running water added to the relaxed, festive mood. I was struck by how relaxed and loved I felt! Our bedroom had the same comforting atmosphere as a prolonged lovemaking session! My doula and husband brushed my hair, rubbed my feet, wrapped their arms around me, held me and murmured gentle words to me. I honestly cannot remember labor being frightening or difficult! As I stepped into the birthing pool, my husband’s hands wrapped around mine, my baby descended quickly. The warm water relaxed my whole body, and I embraced each rush and marveled at how sensational the experience was and how safe I felt. The sensations I felt danced on the edge of overwhelming and pleasurable. As my baby crowned, I felt intense pressure and a rush of joy. My husband's hands guided my baby from my body to the water, and then to the surface, to draw her first breath. She was remarkably relaxed, focused, and content to study my face and the soft, candlelit world around her. She continues to be a very attached, happy and peaceful baby.

Ashley