Breathing through labor

I knew of the special gift of ecstatic birth with my pregnancy with my first child and I was fortunate enough to experience it in my husbands arms, being joined with him again as we welcomed the truest expression of our love. Even though he was "sunny side up" with a nuchal arm it was a precipitous and gentle birth. My son literally rode a wave to being born. The reason I am sharing though is not because of my first experience, but my second. When 9 months 3 weeks pregnant we moved from NY to VT. But because my husband was still in the military he had to return to base and I stayed at my mother's in MA. Comparing to my last pregnancy I figured I had the due date plus one and maybe a few days longer, meaning my husband would be with me again, have a homebirth and we would be with family on Christmas. Well due date plus one brought rushes, surges and blossoming power. I was by my estimate 5 centimeters when this all started. My mother didn’t want a homebirth with my dad, a doctor, away at a conference and no midwife to be found so we made our way to the community hospital. Breathing was all I did throughout labor. I breathed, showered (which I wasn't supposed to do???) and sat on the bed, just breathing and feeling my child descending. After a few minutes I look down as I am having an ecstatic rush and my 2 year old is driving a fire truck all over my stomach and legs. He is so happy and humming, excited to be playing with the baby. I am so happy to be a mother again and my son is born. My total being and the circle of my life-giving was feeding and nourishing all of us. My children have shaped my life, changed my life, honored my life. Even though I was without my lover, best friend, dearest love, I was not alone. My ecstasy was an extension of our love and devotion to each other. I was able to feel my husband's love even though he wouldn't arrive until the next morning. I also believe that these feelings of intense joy facilitated both of my births being fast and easy, with excellent breastfeeding relationships. My littlest on nursed for 4.5 years, continuing the circle of love. I thought this would be helpful for other women whose mates were away. Even though there is some sadness and grief, ecstasy can keep you from dwelling on those emotions and focusing on the love and passion in your life. Demetria Clark